Midnight oil's runnin low..and why I hate the phone
I'm sitting here, plugging plot holes and thinking over the past few days. HTE had a rough night tonight. Sometimes lost loved ones pop into your mind without a warning. They always rest in your heart, but when you hear a favorite song or smell a familiar scent, you get caught up in the memories. His Mother passed away some time ago. She must have been a wonderful woman, and I'm sorry I never met her. So tonight, all I can do is comfort him an listen. The stories. Wow. LOL. She was amazing. And to hear her son talk...a force of nature. Much like his sister. LOL. She made a beautiful and loving family and I can only be thankful they're a part of my life. My Love, especially. I'm thankful for him every day.
HTE's sleeping now so I have baby duty. :-) Unfortunately the kender has a bit of congestion. While he isn't fussy, he is occasionally uncomfortable. So I'm staying with him for most of the night, helping him clear his stuffy nose. On the cool baby stuff side, Kender's making noises NOT related to crying. While it's not exactly cooing, (kind of like small shrieks and soft cries) it's still amazing. I can't believe how big he's getting. Isn't it phenominal how you can love something so little, so very much?
I called my Mom today. Grandma is feelin' blue that she hasn't had her Kender fix in a month. She's hoping to come visit soon. :-) While that's nice, she did upset me with her turn of conversation. My brother lives with her. He's 21, and before you freak, he's helping her take care of her very sick husband. His job is dead end and he's looking for a new start. Wonderful news...he wants to enter a vocational school...fantastic! I'm all for it. All of this I know. Now Mom says...he can't get a student loan b/c he has no credit. Because of the doc bills and things, my credit is shot and I can't help him. Can you try and co-sign?
*blinks*
Now here's my rant.
My brother is 21! I completely understand why he has no credit...he and I grew up in an environment where having checks meant you had money in the bank. My grandfather and mother were not the best at finances. We grew up realizing that credit could get you into more trouble than anything in the world. LOL.
Why didn't my ADULT brother ask me? He had spoken to me seconds before Mom got on the phone. So...I ask Mom to put on the cougar. We needed to talk. She asks me if we can do it and I say...I need to speak to Cougar.
So he calls me back and we talk. Why did he let Mom ask me? B/c she offered, he says. LOL.
Do you see my point? Why was I upset? B/C Mom has nothing to do with it. Only he and I have anything to do with the loan.
Ohhhh. And then we reach an understanding.
We has a fantastic conv about that. From now on he'll talk to me directly about any of this. No problem. I'll talk finances only with him and vice versa. Adult to adult. Finally. :-) Little bro's grown up and I can't believe how awesome it is to see it. He's an ox when it comes to work, so if the loan gets approved, I know it'll be in good hands.
Mom gets back on and asks me again if HTE and I can do it. I say...we'll see. *sigh*
Friends:
I got a phone call from a friend in Cali. He's pretty upset that I didn't tell him about having the baby, give him my new phone number, etc. *sigh* I'm still apologizing to everyone for that, btw. So for the record: I spent the last month and a half of my pregnancy in a serious state of uncomfortable, sleeping for many more hours per day than I ever had and sick as a dog. Add to that constant contractions (two weeks straight...2-3 minutes apart at intensity that pushed the line off the charts) and you might see where I'm coming from. I didn't call anyone. I didn't email anyone. I barely had a three second short term memory.
While that's no excuse for not calling everyone and giving them my new phone number, emailing everyone or IMing everyone, it is the mental state I was in. I didn't give anyone my new number b/c I never thought to call anyone. It wasn't b/c I love my friends any less or I felt like my life was more important. It was that I never thought to call anyone. It never crossed my mind. I could barely function past the next contraction. Yeah, I know...plenty of women do it all the time without problems, yadda yadda. Most women feel pain with all of their contractions and are almost expected to be jerks in the delivery room. I felt almost no pain and was told that I was the politest person they'd ever seen in L&D, even when the anesthesia wore off in surgery. Go figure. Every pregnancy is different.
I'm very sorry guys.
To my family: I love you all very much.
To my friends: I love you all too. Thanks for understanding.
Peace all, I'm out. It's nap time.
HTE's sleeping now so I have baby duty. :-) Unfortunately the kender has a bit of congestion. While he isn't fussy, he is occasionally uncomfortable. So I'm staying with him for most of the night, helping him clear his stuffy nose. On the cool baby stuff side, Kender's making noises NOT related to crying. While it's not exactly cooing, (kind of like small shrieks and soft cries) it's still amazing. I can't believe how big he's getting. Isn't it phenominal how you can love something so little, so very much?
I called my Mom today. Grandma is feelin' blue that she hasn't had her Kender fix in a month. She's hoping to come visit soon. :-) While that's nice, she did upset me with her turn of conversation. My brother lives with her. He's 21, and before you freak, he's helping her take care of her very sick husband. His job is dead end and he's looking for a new start. Wonderful news...he wants to enter a vocational school...fantastic! I'm all for it. All of this I know. Now Mom says...he can't get a student loan b/c he has no credit. Because of the doc bills and things, my credit is shot and I can't help him. Can you try and co-sign?
*blinks*
Now here's my rant.
My brother is 21! I completely understand why he has no credit...he and I grew up in an environment where having checks meant you had money in the bank. My grandfather and mother were not the best at finances. We grew up realizing that credit could get you into more trouble than anything in the world. LOL.
Why didn't my ADULT brother ask me? He had spoken to me seconds before Mom got on the phone. So...I ask Mom to put on the cougar. We needed to talk. She asks me if we can do it and I say...I need to speak to Cougar.
So he calls me back and we talk. Why did he let Mom ask me? B/c she offered, he says. LOL.
Do you see my point? Why was I upset? B/C Mom has nothing to do with it. Only he and I have anything to do with the loan.
Ohhhh. And then we reach an understanding.
We has a fantastic conv about that. From now on he'll talk to me directly about any of this. No problem. I'll talk finances only with him and vice versa. Adult to adult. Finally. :-) Little bro's grown up and I can't believe how awesome it is to see it. He's an ox when it comes to work, so if the loan gets approved, I know it'll be in good hands.
Mom gets back on and asks me again if HTE and I can do it. I say...we'll see. *sigh*
Friends:
I got a phone call from a friend in Cali. He's pretty upset that I didn't tell him about having the baby, give him my new phone number, etc. *sigh* I'm still apologizing to everyone for that, btw. So for the record: I spent the last month and a half of my pregnancy in a serious state of uncomfortable, sleeping for many more hours per day than I ever had and sick as a dog. Add to that constant contractions (two weeks straight...2-3 minutes apart at intensity that pushed the line off the charts) and you might see where I'm coming from. I didn't call anyone. I didn't email anyone. I barely had a three second short term memory.
While that's no excuse for not calling everyone and giving them my new phone number, emailing everyone or IMing everyone, it is the mental state I was in. I didn't give anyone my new number b/c I never thought to call anyone. It wasn't b/c I love my friends any less or I felt like my life was more important. It was that I never thought to call anyone. It never crossed my mind. I could barely function past the next contraction. Yeah, I know...plenty of women do it all the time without problems, yadda yadda. Most women feel pain with all of their contractions and are almost expected to be jerks in the delivery room. I felt almost no pain and was told that I was the politest person they'd ever seen in L&D, even when the anesthesia wore off in surgery. Go figure. Every pregnancy is different.
I'm very sorry guys.
To my family: I love you all very much.
To my friends: I love you all too. Thanks for understanding.
Peace all, I'm out. It's nap time.
posted by The Sidhe at 11:08 PM
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